And get mailed hard.

Stuff I might email you:

The Matt Payne Website

Surreal Stories and Funky Music.

no javascript?

The Paranoid Adventures of Larry Grank

Jul 05, 2014
Adventure / Mystery / Absurd / Comedy

The universe is full of mystery and Larry has the inside scoop. In this collection Larry uncovers secrets about multiple antichrists, alien conspiracies, the Liquid Cult, Jewish people, and exorcism.


Apr 11, 2014
Adventure / Science Fiction

The Pantheon is Electric. A modern retelling of Greek mythology set in a world of robotic gods! Tricking a mountain god into setting him free, Eric must lead his fellows on a perilous journey across the ocean. As they encounter tentacled gods and suffering abominations, Eric realizes he has bit...
...[keep reading]

Robot God/Hybrid Brain

Mar 25, 2014
Short Fiction / Science Fiction / Adventure / Mystery / Comedy / Surreal / Absurd

Mind-Bending Short Fiction. A scientist battles a robot-god who experiences time backwards. A magic dog writes mind-destroying fiction. A genetic experiment falls in love with works of art, and tries to make love. A brave soldier travels through a world of perpetual warfare. Plus other stories...
...[keep reading]

The Sick Book of Lies

Jan 22, 2014
Self-Help / Comedy / Horror / Lies

A gruesome grimoire of hilarious anecdotes, impossible bullshit, and good advice. Plus sorcery, spiritual insight, get-rich-quick schemes, and ancient wisdom. Pretty much X-rated.

In 2013 an ancient relic was unearthed in the Middle East. The relic was a music-box from a century pre-dating modern humans. A relic of proto-human musical composition. This album is a recording of the sounds on that ancient music machine. Music with an eerie resemblance to modern-day indietronica....
...[keep reading]

Sweet Old Trash

Feb 17, 2013

B-Sides. There's Drum 'n' Bass, Breaks, and fun funky compositions which bleed into IDM. The Melodies are Sweet and the Trash is Loud.

The loneliness of an old monestary, poured over sexy beats like chocolate over chopped wood. Weird scales and lots of eery sounds.

Funky experiments in structure and form.

Jul 02, 2016

A marathon of spices spirals like a paraplegic lobster. I plucked the wings from a mountain lobster and cast it into the deep.

May 30, 2016

The touch-groan muck-screen greens backbone luck tone. Your swid glistens in the dark. Don't let it touch me or I will be forever grateful.

May 30, 2016

Like a waterfall of people, my law is normal. I can only measure. I can never win or lose. There is a wizard on my face. I will never forgive you.

May 30, 2016

A marathon of spices spirals like a paraplegic lobster. I plucked the wings from a mountain-lobster and cast it into the deep.

Jul 20, 2016

Miramichi — A prototype self-driven Tesla van full of record producers and computer programmers arrived in Northern New Brunswick’s largest city today, to browse the local culture, boost the vital tourist economy, and show off their perfect hair... Full Article...
...[keep reading]

Jul 15, 2016

I recently penned (or keyboarded) four new sarcastic self-help books, the first four in a series that I call GO HELP YOURSELF. They're available on Amazon and Smashwords as e-books. I'm planning to make audio versions available for a couple of them, and if anybody likes them I'll make more. Mo...
...[keep reading]

May 30, 2016

My new website is easier to navigate and update, and I included a blog/news RSS feed.